How To Take Back Control of Your Life

This latest season of life has been filled with all that kind of stuff that makes me want to hide my head under a pillow and stay there.

There have been some not so fun transitions going on and just plain hard stuff.

In other words, it’s taking a high level of strength just to show up. In fact, the voice in my head has become rather comfortable wallowing around in the muck and mire.

However, I’ve already been stuck here longer than I’ve wanted to stay and I know it’s time to take action.

While some of the hard things are out of my control, there are small things completely within my control that make a big impact.

When I say this, I do want to give a caveat and that is;  I do believe that ultimately I serve a sovereign God who is in control of all circumstances. However, this does not mean that I’m not responsible for my decisions and actions.

Too often we let our circumstances dictate the decisions and actions, or lack thereof, that we make. When what we really need to do is take purposeful and intentional action.

If you’ve been feeling like life has gotten away from you, know that most of us go through seasons of feeling this way.

If we’re not intentional it’s easy to fill our time with things we have to do, rather than what we want to do. Our time is dictated by obligations and we let the small, but important things slide away. However, this is exactly what makes us feel like life is just happening to us.

But here’s the good news, it really is the small things we do in life that make the biggest impact. So to take back control of your life, you only need to take a few small steps in the right direction.

Here are seven small steps to take back control of your life:

1. Pay Attention to Your Physical Environment

I believe this is true for most people and I know its true for me. Your environment has a huge impact on how you feel.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed by life one of the best things you can do to take back control of your life is to focus on your physical environment.

Is your house a mess, filled with piles of paper and other clutter?  How about your car, when is the last time you cleaned it out? What about your workspace, if it’s too unorganized to focus you’re not going to get anything done. Needless to say, a lack of productivity contributes to that feeling of overwhelm.

It’s natural to let these things go when we have so much going on. The problem is that ignoring these little things, makes them become big things. In the end, it’s worth taking a little extra time to get your environment cleaned up and organized.

Start by clearing the immediate clutter – all that stuff that’s sitting out on your surfaces or in piles on the floor and furniture.

First, I want you to grab a large basket, a laundry basket will do. Next, go around your house and take everything off your surfaces that don’t belong there and toss it into that basket.

At this stage don’t worry about the contents of that basket. The most important thing is clearing those surfaces.

This simple act will give you an immediate sense of accomplishment. It will also visually clear your immediate environment so that you can focus a little more clearly to take back control of your life.

To keep the clutter from creeping back in, read How to Stay Clutter-Free for Good.

Make it Visually Pleasing

I do want to point out that even if your space is generally neat and organized if it’s dull or doesn’t reflect your personality it’s worth spending a little time fixing it up.

Purchase a nice scented candle or some beautiful flowers.  Add a couple of plants, even fake plants can add some interest. Consider investing in some inexpensive artwork that reflects your personality or some positive quotes you can hang up.

Set aside your obligations just for today and focus on your environment. It’s a little thing that will yield big results and allow you to feel like you’ve taken back control of your life.

2. Nurture Your Relationships

Next to, or perhaps even more so than your environment, happiness in our relationships has a tremendous impact on how much we feel in control of our life.

For the vast majority of us, when feeling stressed or overwhelmed we have a tendency to be short and snappy with the people who matter most.

We do this because it’s safe. What I mean is that if you snap at or are short with a co-worker or casual friend, you can do permanent damage to that relationship. On the other hand, we know our loved ones will forgive us.

But here’s the thing it makes us feel bad when our relationships are out of whack. We never want to treat our loved ones poorly.  And when we do we feel out of control.

Let me tell you when those relationships that mean the most to me are not right, I’m stressed out and unfocused on pretty much anything but whatever’s going on there.

If you’ve been short or snappy with your favorite people here are some simple things that will allow you to take back control of your life and your relationships.

Be Willing to Apologize

Apologies are not easy.  I remember reading an article that apologizing is a sign of weakness.  I completely disagree!

It takes humility and courage to admit that you’re wrong.  There is nothing weak about that! A sincere apology also shows the person you’re apologizing to that you value them and your relationship. We all make mistakes and do things we need to say I’m sorry for. When you’re willing to do so, you’re strengthening that relationship.

Be Willing To Invest Your Time

When life feels out of control we have a tendency to retreat inward. But doing so creates a distance in our relationships. To take back control of your life and relationships be willing to invest your time.

Make a point of having some face to face conversations. Arrange a date to spend some time together. It does not need to be elaborate or time-consuming, Arrange a lunch date or even an evening walk will bring a moment of closeness.

Be Willing To Set Boundaries

Not every relationship is worth investing in. If you have a person in your life that creates unnecessary drama or makes you feel bad, it’s okay to let that go.

We’re not meant to be friends with everyone. In fact, it’s important to set boundaries when it comes to relationships that are draining. You can kindly decline invitations and limit your contact with these people.

3. Keep A Check on Your Finances

The third biggest factor that influences our overall feelings of life being out of control is the state of our finances.

When our finances feel out of control our entire life can feels out of control. This often happens because we’re not budgeting, we’re trying to keep up with the Jones and or simply overspending on stuff we don’t need.

It’s time to take back control of your life by getting your finances in order.

Even if money is extremely tight, you want to know what you’re dealing with. Start by setting up a simple budget.

Make a list of all your regular income.

Next, list all fixed expenses. These are expenses that do not change from month to month. Think mortgage or rent, car payments, and insurance.

Finally, make a list of all necessary variable expenses. These are things that fluctuate from month to month such as utility bills or groceries.

What’s left is what you have to work with. Set aside some savings each month for an emergency fund. Then if you have a lot of debt start making a debt payoff plan.

Even if you feel like you’re not making ends meet each month, trust me, knowledge is power.

It may take you a little while to get to where you want to be, but knowing you have a plan in action will create an instant sense of control. This is because you’ve taken a small step to take back control of your life!

4. Move Your Body Every day

There are so many articles on the dangers of living a sedentary lifestyle. Not only does it impact our physical health, but it affects our mental and emotional state as well. A sedentary lifestyle has been linked to an increase in anxiety and depression.

On the other hand, movement releases those feel-good chemicals our brain produces. Performing some type of regular physical movement is something you have complete control over.

Look it doesn’t have to be complicated, and please don’t make it complicated. A simple walk around the block at a decent pace will be a good start. Aim for 30 minutes of movement at least three times a week.

You’ll get those feel-good endorphins flowing and take back control of your life.

5. Get Your ZZZZ’s

I’m not sure if you could categorize movement as more important than sleep or sleep more important than movement? Either way, lack of sleep leads to poor decisions. The poor decisions contribute to our feeling like we have no control over our life.

The truth is sleep is often the first thing we sacrifice when life gets busy. It’s so easy to stay up late, get a few things done, and caught up. But when you sacrifice sleep you also sacrifice your health and well-being.

Insufficient sleep, much like insufficient movement,  increases the risk of developing stress and depression. In addition, if you’re sleep-deprived, you’re far more likely to react negatively when something doesn’t go well.

Not only that but when things do go well, your sleep deprivation will rob you of your ability to reap the emotional benefits of that positive experience.

Are these sacrifices really worth it? Ultimately no! If you want to take back control of your life, sleep is one of those things you must make the time for.

If you struggle with sleep these tips may help!

6. Watch Your Diet

To be frank, when I eat crap, I feel like crap. And not just physically but mentally as well.

I realize that eating habits can be difficult for a lot of people. Whether it’s eating too much, not eating enough, or just eating the wrong things, we all have our issues that come up and contribute to our feeling like life is out of control.

I’m not gonna sit here and tell you it’s an easy fix, especially when life feels out of control. Yes, it will require some self-discipline to make sure you’re eating a nutritious diet.

However, exercising that self-discipline is exactly what’s going to make you feel like you have taken back control of your life.

Knowing that you have enough control to regularly eat healthy well-balanced meals, is unbelievably motivating.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t have the occasional treat, but you should primarily be eating well-balanced meals.

I do want to say that if you’re struggling with eating healthy well-balanced foods, meal prep, and meal planning are lifesavers. Set aside some time each week to create a meal plan.

Get in the habit of preparing your fruits and veggies before you even put the groceries away. There are some great products out there that will keep your produce fresh the entire week. I’ve been loving stasher bags lately for keeping things fresh.

If you sign up for the newsletter, all subscribers receive a free planner that includes a space for meal planning. Just click the image below.

7. Take Up a Hobby

When I’m having a hard time maintaining a positive attitude and reflect back on why 90% of the time I’ll find it’s because I’ve taken no time to relax or recharge. When this happens it’s normal to feel like your life is out of control.  This is because you’re not making any time for the things you care about!

If you want to take back control of your life, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of having a regular activity or hobby that you enjoy and spend time doing.

Whether it’s painting beautiful pictures, crafting, baking or simply reading a good book, to take back control of your life you must spend time doing these things. If you love spending time with a good friend or solo trips to the Farmers Market, put it on your calendar.

Regularly schedule a time for you, you deserve it! And when you put it in your calendar, treat it like you would any other appointment. I know for me that if I don’t schedule it, it doesn’t happen. Make sure you’re regularly doing something that fills you up.

It’s time to stop letting life happen to you, instead be intentional in taking time for the things you want to do. Take back control of your life with these small steps. They really will have a big impact.