Why Self-Care is Important for Loving Others

It is funny how sometimes something unrelated can trigger certain thoughts. Not too long ago, I was reading a post talking about finding balance in opposites, about all the contradictory advice out there and about the importance of being true to yourself. It was an interesting article and raised a lot of good points. You can check it out here if you’re curious.

In listing the contradictions we often hear, one stuck out at me. It struck close to home. “Self-care vs. serving others.” I often write about the importance of self-care and I firmly believe self-care is important. I am not talking about self-focus or selfishness here, just the importance of loving yourself by taking the time to care for yourself.

At the same time, I hold the equally strong belief that the way to bring joy and happiness to your own life is through serving others. My kids grew up hearing over and over again “consider others better than yourself.” I have found, over and over again, that serving others leads to greater contentment and joy in my own life.

While holding these two strong beliefs, I never thought of them as a contradiction or opposed to each other. Can self- love and the call to put others first go together? How do we resolve this seeming conflict?

Love your Neighbor as Yourself

In Matthew 22:37-39 we are commanded to “love your neighbor as yourself.” The clear implication here is that we are indeed loving ourselves. Not only that, but we are to love our neighbor as “yourself” or in the same way. So if we are not loving ourselves, do we love our neighbor well?

There is a direct correlation between loving ourselves and our ability to love others. We know we should be caring for and meeting the needs of our neighbors, but isn’t it more than that?

There are numerous commands throughout Scripture on how we are to treat each other. These are commonly referred to as the one anothers. Some examples are:

Love one another (John 13:34)
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love (Romans 12:10)
Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10)
Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)
Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
Carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
Be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2)
Be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
Forgiving each other (Ephesians 4:32)
Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21)
In humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

This is just a sampling, there are many more. Now as you look at this list, I have to ask, how are you doing at applying these principles to your own life? Are you taking the time to be kind to yourself? Are you treating yourself with the same love, care, and concern that you are treating others? The more we learn to love ourselves, the more open we become to offering love to others.

God’s View of Us

Learning to love yourself starts with an accurate view of how God sees us. What is God’s view of us? Do you have an accurate view of who you are? As a Christian God sees you as perfect as He sees Christ. Read Psalm 139  for a description of God’s constant watch and protection of your life and how you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God even knows the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7)

When we have an accurate view of how God sees us, self-love becomes an expression of gratitude and desire to give because we are so thankful for the love we receive from God through Christ. We see our worth and value, this allows us to love and care for ourselves as well as give us the desire to love back. Understanding your own worth makes you see the worth of others.

Balance

While I firmly believe that there needs to be a balance between loving ourselves by caring for our own needs and loving others, which sometimes necessitates putting their needs above our own, the fact still remains that we treat others the same way we treat ourselves. We can’t love others in a way that we are not loving ourselves.

Often we can look at taking time for ourselves as indulgent, lazy, or selfish. Even if you know that in your head, this isn’t true, it can be hard to overcome those feelings. The truth is that if we are not purposeful, caring for ourselves can be all those things, but it does not have to be.

It is about the simple act of slowing down if even for a moment. Setting a regular intention to care for yourself can be as simple as taking 15 minutes of stretching, a walk around the block, praying, listening to uplifting Christian music, sipping on a warm cup of tea while reading a chapter in a book. The point is to do something that will set a positive and calm tone, refreshing your soul.

So, I challenge you this week to find ways to take care of yourself, remembering that self-care is important to loving others. Make it a priority knowing that it will improve all other areas of your life and especially your ability to care for others. Today, ask yourself these simple questions:

Am I loving myself?
Am I taking time to slow down and refresh my soul?

Then write down one self-care goal you can practice this week.

If we truly want to be at our best when it comes to serving God and others, we need to learn to love our self and practice self-care.

Now live simply, live fully and make each day your favorite day.