How to Discover Your Core Values

You may have heard the story of Amber VanHecke. Amber VenHecke was a young girl in her 20s. Traveling alone near the southern rim of the Grand Canyon, she put her exact destination into her Google maps app.

Following the guidance from her GPS, she turned onto a ratchet dirt road that she was to travel for 40 miles before the next highway. When she was about 35 miles into the dirt road, the GPS directs her to turn on to a road that doesn’t exist.

Amber made the turn as directed, figuring she’d see the road momentarily. It was getting dark, there was no road in sight when the GPS suddenly stopped working.

She panicked and tried to find the road again, by this point her gas tank was at 0 to empty. Amber spent the next five days alone in the desert waiting to be rescued.

This is life without understanding your core values. Our core values are what guide us in the right direction. They prevent us from getting lost in directionless floundering priorities.

What Exactly Is A Core Value

Put simply core values are the fundamental beliefs, and guiding principles that help us determine if we’re on the right path. They help us fulfill our purpose by creating an unwavering guide.

I’m not talking about ethics or morals here. Your core values represent what is truly important to YOU, what gives your life purpose, and identify who you are at your very core.

They represent our highest priorities and deeply held beliefs.

Because core values are at the heart of who we are as people, in this world that is constantly changing, core values are non-negotiable constants that:

• Help us select relationships
• Clarify who we are and articulate what we stand for
• Explain why we do what we do
• Guide us in making decisions, and
• Help us manage our personal resources, such as our time and money

Why You Need To Determine Your Core Values

If we don’t identify what matters most in our lives, how do we clear space to prioritize it? The reality is if you don’t know what your priorities or core values are then you are just clearing space without being intentional.

Without defining our core values we’re lost and left wandering aimlessly, pulled away from what matters most to us by the infinite distractions of daily life. In other words, without a clear picture of what matters most to you, you’ll find it impossible to implement new routines, rules, and boundaries.

Think of core values as guideposts that keep us grounded and moving in the right direction. When you clearly define your core values they will guide you in making decisions that take you where you want to go.

Get them wrong or leave them ambiguous and you’ll constantly wonder how you got into this mess.  On the other hand, when you know what your core values are, you experience greater fulfillment because you’re finally living by your true values.

Knowing Your Core Values Helps Improve Your Life!

In order to stay focused on what’s most important, we have to choose what is most important to us.

Let’s face it, it’s easy to know we need to simplify and prioritize our life. We can say yes I need to do this or yes I need to take care of that, we know and recognize our need for these things.

However, it’s much harder to actually break life down in a practical way and say okay this is how I’m going to actually prioritize and make this happen. 

If we don’t know how to do this, we default to checking out. But living by default is no way to live. Living a life of purpose requires you to know who you are what matters most to you so that you can make those things a priority.

The truth is, knowing your core values is the only way you’ll be able to choose what matters and let go of the rest. Anything else leaves us trying to do it all, and well, we can’t do it all and do it well. I know I’ve made so many mistakes trying to do it all. In the end, those things that truly mattered most to me were not the given time they deserved.

The bottom line is that when you don’t honor your core values, your physical, mental and emotional state suffers. But, making the right decisions becomes easy when you know and live by your values.

How To Determine Your Core Values

I remember when I first left my job as a lawyer to take a part-time position at my church. It necessitated a lot of changes and rearranging the way I did things.

In the beginning, it was so easy, I knew exactly why I made that choice. I was having a blast learning new ways to make our family time together special and exploring the various ways to save money.

That lasted for about the first 30 days. That’s when it got boring and it got hard and I just wanted to go out and eat dinner, but couldn’t afford it. I began to wonder if I’d made a mistake. The short-term benefits I was receiving were no longer enough.

But knowing my core values saved me. I knew my core values were not about having the luxuries of life, they were not about going out to restaurants or buying a new outfit just because. Instead, one of my main core values was and is family.

Because I had identified what matters most in my life, I was able to prioritize it.  The same is true for you!  All areas of your life depend on understanding your core values.

Here Are Some Questions To Help You Determine Your Core Values

Go through and answer the following questions to help you determine what is most important to you and discover your main core values. When answering be as specific and thorough as possible.

But, before you get started, take some time to clear your mind. Get rid of the noise, social media, others’ opinions, and expectations.

1. Where are you spending your time?

Your time says a lot about where your priorities really are. Are you spending your time the way you want to be? If not what can you change? What do you need to say yes or no to? Remove or add?

2. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?

List your top three.

3. What are your greatest failures?

List your top three

4. What advice would you give yourself based on your answer to questions 2 & 3?

5. In what environment do you feel the most comfortable?

6. If you could change any area of your life, what would it be?

7. What do you want to be doing more of that you’re currently unable to do?

8. If you had a free week how would you spend it?

9. What is going well for you?

10. What areas of your life seem to be a struggle for you?

11. What is amazing about your life right now exactly the way it is?

12. What do you wish were different about your life right now?

13. What is the ONE most important thing that you want to focus on changing, improving, or growing in?

14. What do you want life to look like when your 80?

Do you see any commonality in your responses to these questions?

Now start brainstorming words that will define you as a person. James Clear has a great list of 50 core values to get you started.

Next, look for commonalities and pick your top 5 words that define you as a person.

For example, here are some of mine:

• Love/Peace
• Closeness/Loyalty
• Integrity/Truth
• Servant/Maternal
• Simplicity/Intention

Now that you have your words answer the following questions:

1. How does this play out in your life?
2. Do your daily actions line up with your priorities?
3. Why is this value important to you?
4. How will you live this value out in your life?

The point of learning your core values is to help you discover those things that truly matter to you, and allow those values to guide you through life.

This is hard work! to dig deep and get to the center of who we are. But I promise you, it is so worth it as you begin to live your life with purpose and intent.

Take your words and write them down, place them somewhere you will see often. You can remind yourself of what truly matters. Remember every decision you make in alignment with your values will bring you closer to where you want your life to be.

I would love to hear what you came up with!